Giving Birth to an Essay

The essay I’m working on is almost done. Its birth is the hard part. I don’t want to give it up. I like being in process, enjoy the maybe-this, maybe-that kind of experience.

Working on a piece of writing feels like when I was pregnant. I felt so fat and sassy. Every day I got up and was pregnant. End of story. I waddled around town with a big smile on my face.

For me, writing is like that. I get up in the morning and have something to sink my teeth into, because my essay or article isn't finished, not yet.

When my daughter was only a few days old, she had to be taken back to the hospital for a lab test. In the car, on the way to the hospital, I started crying. The tears came from nowhere. I didn’t even realize I was sad.

Looking back, I think it was hormones combined with relief, letting go, giving up, the kind that comes from having wanted something for so long and then finally getting it.

Finishing a piece of writing is both happy and sad like that.